Beth Bolos
Há mais de 20 anos cuidando dos quitutes das festPublished on: 05.02.2012
Potty Mouth Says...
hmm...I wonder who even reads this anywayMums
12 June 2009 10:47:15
A few days ago, I reluctantly asked my mom to be more careful next time she washed my clothes because some of them were dry clean only. Hence, the cashmere wrap around scarf that she ruined a few nights ago. Her response, in Chinese of course, "you are so lucky, you know, to have a mom that does everything for you. My mom died when I was 15 and it was so sad growing up with out a mom..."That stayed with me for a while that day. I realized that I really do need to appreciate her even if I never asked her to do any of my laundry. Funny how little things make me think so hard and interesting how much I tend to forget about important facts unless they are said to me.
Uninvited Past
11 June 2009 00:15:42
Sometimes the past comes back to haunt us every now and then. At times, memories come up that we try to forget and leave by the way side, things that we are perhaps not so proud of. Just a year ago, I was one emotionally unstable and vulnerable person. I had always felt that in order to be happy, I needed something or someone beyond my self. I always felt a void and I pretended that if I let it linger on, it would be able to heal itself with time. It hit me hard today that I did a lot of foolish things in my past that I don't commend today - being uncontrollably violent and unyielding to people I claimed to have loved. Although none of my vulnerability and anger was unwarranted because I didn't believe that anyone truly cared for me, I wish that I knew how to communicate my feelings in more effective ways. Having the past creep its ugly head at me unexpectedly isn't easy but it certainly allows for epiphanies. I am so glad to have realized that I have grown so much within this past year that the person I was in the past is almost foreign to me now.I am so grateful for everything I have now. I am so fortunate to have realized that my own independent being is capable of achieving a sense of security and happiness. I have found so much joy and inner peace contributing my time and energy into worthy and meaningful things - from finding joy in class, getting to know friends more, running the lake again, to spending time training with my dragon boat team. Even more grateful am I to have found an extra exponential amount of happiness from being with someone who feels just as confident and content being independent himself. Thank you for bringing out the best in me for those that have been close to me this past year. I'm not going anywhere but UP from here on =)
Update
06 June 2009 15:00:04
Since its summer, I thought I'd lighten up the mood of this blog a little bit. Yea, I know...its in dire need of content.
Another Walk Home
29 April 2009 22:56:35
Before I become lethargic to write this blog due to the million and one distractions I have and will encounter, I feel the urgency to document what I have witnessed about 15 minutes ago. Right now, someone is gushing blood from their head probably from being pounded onto the cement ground or being bit by a masculine dog. I can't recall, it happened too quickly. I was walking home from class as I was approaching the telegraph and hasting when I immediately noticed two people (one female, one male) running after another male as a result of some type of heated argument. They were regulars from peoples park, dressed in hippies clothing. The guy was eventually caught up with and the female and males simultaneously punched the third person. The man was clearly retaliating but was continued to be dragged on the ground. Out of no where, a huge dog runs towards one of them and starts jumping over and biting them. It all happen so fast and didn't seem to want to end. I don't take sides to this situation since I obviously don't know the reason for why they fought, but it is apparent to me that they are all victims of themselves. I felt a rush of emotions, I was sickened at the sight of the beatings, afraid of what was to come next, and confused as to what to do about it. Here I am standing 1/4 of a block from them with the rest of the passer by's who seem just as shocked as I was. Then there was one guy who called out, "please yall, don't call the cops man...",to the people walking by, as if he was helping both parties, nonchalantly and with a smile. There were a few people who gave a chuckle and said things along the lines of "are you serious?". How could someone laugh, let alone smile in a situation like this? It just didn't feel right in my guts. I remembered seeing a cop parked on the sidewalk on the previous block, so I ran to him. Finding myself out of breath I said to the middle age Asian officer, "excuse me there's a fight happening on the other corner". He gave me a expressionless glance and said "I'm on my way" as he waits patiently behind a red light so he can make his car around the one way streets to make a full circle around the block. I walked away feeling a bit unsure about what I just did. By the time I walked back to the scene, one of the guy was already swaying and walking along side the gates of an abandoned lot, holding his head as the fore and side of his head was gushing with bright red blood. He was obviously hurt and had a few of his friends walking next to him trying to tend to his wounds. I stand there for a few seconds fixated at his physical weariness. At the same time, the police officer finally pulls up on the corner but stays in his car. This encounter today made me feel heavy hearted about the whole issue. What is there to do when you see someone violently beat another person almost to death, while a spectator / peer citizen tells you to essentially not do anything about it? It makes me think about a number of things. Firstly, it makes me think about how difficult the role of law enforcement agents are because if I were to see what I saw today everyday as part of my occupation, I would become indifferent and hardened as well. But more importantly, this particular officer has just reaffirmed to me the ineffectiveness of their roles as neither preventive nor responsive agents to crime.Maybe I'm being too idealistic and peace loving? I don't know, but I sure hope not.
Row row row your boat...
11 April 2009 17:26:26
Lately, I've been dreaming about paddling. Just three more weeks until the So-cal college race on May 3rd. I am so excited to go out there and give it our best. We put in too much hard work this semester to come home empty-handed. 
Longer, Stronger, harder!
The Apologetic Women
24 February 2009 13:42:15
I have a very disdain perception of the apologetics women. Maybe you are one but don't even know it yet because you have been socialized to think this way all your life. I have a friend who is to me, the paradigmatic meek apologeticist, she is capable of apologizing to herself outloud while speaking to someone else. This meek tendency is not only a marked trait of women, its especially true in Asian women. How do I know this? Because I do it myself all the time.
Sick
02 February 2009 22:52:32
This piece was written when I was really sick on a late night last October, Entitled Sick. enjoy: They have no idea how lucky they are, him holding her as she’s holding him She’s sick but in each other’s company, they laugh and they smile I smileAisle one, robutussin, $7.50 cough and cold for adults only Cold season…It’s that can’t really breathe right, chest wheezing, muscles too tight to configure This disconnect between the you that I once simultaneously admired, hated, loved,And the I, still trying to find a remedyMy voice is Raspy and my throat is sore, like the friction in our relationshipI start to speak but the end of my words start to lose sound Like the inconclusive ways our fights would always end inPhlegm fills my lungs and as I exhale it reminds me of the energy I’ve exhausted And every time I inhale it’s a fight to regain all the Reasons I live for, the passions I fight for, the I love to be alive type of feelings I lost In the course of this sicknessI know I will heal; I just need to keep taking my medication, two doses of integrity, Two doses of I know I deserve better, two doses of I love myself unconditionally per day. My doctor once said that the more one hurts, the higher the capacity for one to love Somewhere, sometime he is probably feeling the same symptoms.
The "Obama did it" syndrom
09 December 2008 17:42:39
One day, I was walking home back from work on telegraph. I was going along my merry way when this black gentleman caught my attention via eye contact. I smile, like I usually do to anyone on the streets. He proceeded to follow me with his eyes and I proceeded to walk. Then he said to me, "you're beautiful, I'd love to take you out some time." I looked back and smiled to show my acknowledgment of his kind words and said "thank you" and went on walking hoping that he'd forget his proposition to "take me out". Finally he whips out the ultimate justification for why I should allow him to take me out: "well now that Obamas in the white house, you know things have changed, you should consider it". What does one say to that? To add to this phenomenon ...I heard on the radio that P Diddy spent thousands of dollars to send in an audition tape to audition to be the next James Bond. Seriously? haha okay this is not to say that I can't imagine a black James bond, I actually think that it would be pretty hot. However, P diddy as an actor is a pretty extreme proposal to swallow. I actually have another but Obama did it story. It involves a judge who was sided on the verdict of giving a heavy sentence to a restraining order defendant the day after obama was elected. The defendant was enraged and used the we have a black president now line to reprimand the judge's act against him. The Judge, whose name I will leave out was shocked, to say the least.I think this "Obama did it" syndrome has potential to be trickled down to a more serious discourse by creating some oversight (or maybe as an effect, illuminating) some real big racial problems that exist today. I wonder why the guy on the street brought to my attention the Obama presidency success. Was it because he held the presumption that I would not give him a "chance" because of his color? And what are the implications of Obama's success on the way that African Americans see themselves in their day to day interactions with others today, has much changed before obama's election? These are the underlying questions I ponder...
Turning 22
09 December 2008 00:20:04
Wrote this the day after my turning of age. Twenty two things I know thus far in me life: 1. The only person who can become your biggest enemy and your best friend, is yourself. No one else can love yourself more exponentially than you can. So often we expect things from others, objects of desire, human affection, but we seldom remember that it starts within ourselves to provide that nurture and self love. 2. Time is irreversible, I cannot live with regrets. Each and everything that’s happen for better or for worst has its essential value. Everything is a learning lesson, everything happens for a reason. Each minute, hr, day has meaning. Each day is a new one, with a new opportunity to do things differently from the last. 3. According to my strict rational thought pattern and my cost benefit analysis, being sad yields no utility. Each moment wasted on being sad is a moment that could have been potentially utilized for maximizing pleasure.4. Theres a tendency within many people, including myself to take for granted the people that should be most dear to our hearts. Its easy to scrutinize the people around you for their every action and we seldom step back to give them the benefit of the doubt, and to give them credit for their greater purposes and intent. 5. There are some people who we just cannot compromise with, but the least we could do I respect them. If I gave into hatred every time I met someone who didn’t share my values, I would be defeating myself over and over again. 6. There is no such thing as not being able to live life without someone. Independence is a beauty in itself because self sustaining security is incomparable to any other security given by someone else. Knowing that you don’t NEED someone for survival, but you sure as hell wouldn’t mind sharing your life with someone is a beautiful thing. 7. Meekness is not a quality, being humble is. Why do we shy away from what we rightfully deserve while failing to recognize the qualities that we have? 8. There is no shame in admitting that I need help, we all need help. I used to sit idly and hope for help to come to me. I’ve learned the hard way that proactivity is a tactful quality necessary for success. Seek and you shall find. 9. There is nothing wrong with breaking some rules in life. Mistakes will be made, but we all can heal and maybe the outcome of our lessons can become greater than had we not made the mistakes. 10. I realized that asking for advice is a way of asking for confirmation of what I already know. I think most people take their own instincts for granted, but when in doubt, that’s the best thing to run with. 11. Ask questions, Ponder thoughts, express them. 12. The power to create is a gift. whether it be music, art, or a piece of letter to myself, there is no greater joy in knowing that I’ve extended a part of myself through another medium. 13. There will be hard times in life, but as long as we practice the law of attraction in motion with tangible goals and actions, things will be okay. 14. Fear is falsely self constructed most of the time. 15. Persistence and determination seldom fails. 16. I refuse to be typified.. 17. Realism - we do exist and all exist for a reason.18. Sometimes, integrity has to be compromised in the fluidity of our realizations.19. “Not everything that shimmers, is gold” or some shit like that. 20. I apologize too much. I don’t take up enough space in the elevator. I am too soft spoken. 21. I reject any formula to life, to relationships, to success, but I know the process is one beautiful one. 22. If I were to leave the face of earth tomorrow, I hope that I could have contributed as much as I could of.And yes, if you've read all of it, you probably notice I got lazier and lazier as the list went down. ekk 22 is a lot ...time to buy wrinkle cream.
Affirmative Action
18 November 2008 19:46:54
conversation with kelly: "I wonder if he's dating anyone...nah, probably not, he's too shy""but maybe its a factor that helps him be more attractive, its kinda like affirmative action you know...for people who don't have game""yea...""well depends on what type of ass he likes"
Do you like this blog?
Loading... (rating 0)
